What a Girl Wants
After a week of sleeping with Ryo, Tegoshi was forced to conclude that his inability to reach orgasm was less the fault of his virginity and more a problem with him.
He tried to touch himself, but either he wasn't doing it right or there was something else wrong, because nothing he did felt sexy. Maybe he was defective somehow, and he was doomed to a life of sexual frustration until he got his own body back. That was a depressing thought.
Tegoshi pulled his hand back out of his pajama bottoms and pouted at the ceiling until Ryo shuffled, yawning, into the bedroom. His hair was still wet from his shower; a few chilly droplets slid off the blunt ends and dripped onto Tegoshi's collarbone when he leaned over for a quick kiss.
"Sorry," Ryo mumbled around another yawn when Tegoshi shivered.
"It's okay," Tegoshi said. He waited until Ryo had lain back against his pillow to curl up against him, resting his head on the driest part of Ryo's shoulder. Ryo ran his hand slowly down Tegoshi's back once, twice. Then Ryo's hand stilled, resting with gentle pressure at the small of his back, and Tegoshi knew that he had fallen asleep.
"Tegoshi? Is everything okay?" Kame asked hesitantly. Everyone else had taken one look at his face and headed for the other side of the cafeteria. He shouldn't have gone to the Jimusho that day--it wasn't like he was able to do any work besides learn dance moves that he might never have the chance to use--but Ryo was in Osaka and it was boring just hanging around his empty apartment.
Tegoshi turned his sullen glare on him, thought for half a second about faking cheerfulness, and then didn't. Kame had helped him figure out what size bra to wear; he could deal with this, too. "Everything's fine. I just haven't had an orgasm in three weeks."
"What?" Kame sat down next to him and glanced around the room quickly before leaning in closer. "But I thought that you and Ryo were..."
"And you still..."
Tegoshi shook his head. "I tried on my own, too, but it didn't work. I think maybe there's something wrong with me." Tegoshi decided to blame the fact that his voice wavered a little over the last sentence on his sexual frustration, or maybe on PMS, because it was completely stupid for him to be on the verge of tears just because he made a bad girl.
Kame took his hand in his, and Tegoshi clutched at it gratefully.
"I can't ask my mother about something like that," Kame said, looking simultaneously guilty and sick to the stomach, and Tegoshi nodded in understanding because he wouldn't be able to, either. No one would. Well, maybe Uchi, but Tegoshi couldn't ask him because then he might find out about him and Ryo.
"It's okay," he started to say, when suddenly Kame's face cleared and he said:
Tegoshi hesitated. "Won't he wonder why you'd ask about something like that?" he said, because he certainly would if Kame suddenly asked him how sex with girls worked. Which Kame never would, since Tegoshi's preferences were at least as obvious as Kame's own. "I don't want anyone else to--"
"No, no," Kame said, shaking his head as he got to his feet. "He won't wonder at all. Trust me."
Half an hour later, Kame was back, face bright pink. "I took notes," he said and pulled out several sheets of closely-written paper. "It turns out that Jin was just the right person to ask."
"And he didn't--"
"No," Kame assured him quickly. "He just asked if I were serious about wanting to know, and when I said yes, he launched into, well, this," he said and waved the notepaper at him.
Tegoshi took the papers and spread them out on the table. A few sentences later, he slanted a look at Kame. "Jin's...um...kind of kinky, isn't he?"
Kame shook his head. "I don't think so. He just likes to make people happy. Here, this looks like it would be the most useful to you, anyway." He tapped the sheet of paper closest to him, and Tegoshi leaned over to take a look.
"It all sounds easy enough," he said, only a little dubiously.
"You can definitely do this," Kame said, his voice firm and somehow supportive, and Tegoshi kissed him on the cheek so that he could watch his blush deepen.
The best part of being a girl who looked kind of like Tegoshi was that Tegoshi could buy totally embarrassing things at the store without even blinking. Not that buying embarrassing things didn't have its own difficulties. There were at least a dozen different brands of lubricant, and he hovered in the aisle indecisively. Maybe he ought to have asked Kame for help, after all. On the other hand, it wasn't as much fun making Kame do stuff for him that Kame didnít find embarrassing, and Tegoshi was pretty sure that Kame had bought lube a time or twelve before.
Finally, Tegoshi shrugged and grabbed three different mid-priced brands. He didn't quite trust the cheap ones, and experience suggested that the pricier ones were charging for the packaging more than the content. He popped the cap of each one so that he could sniff them, put the last one back when it seared his sinuses, and replaced it with one that smelled of nothing worse than medicinal tea.
The cashier stared at him when he plunked the three bottles down on the counter. Tegoshi gave her his cutest smile and dropped his eyes a little so that she wouldn't think that he was, like, a brazen hussy or something. "Would you mind...a paper bag, please?" he asked, and she gave him a reassuring smile and rang him up quickly.
The three bottles disappeared into the bag, and Tegoshi made a show of tucking them into the bottom of his purse, as though he were afraid someone might catch sight of a blameless paper sack. "Thank you very much," he said.
"You're welcome," she said with another kind smile, and Tegoshi managed to hold in his laughter until he was half a block away.
He felt a little silly setting up vanilla-scented tea candles on Ryo's dresser in the daytime, but Kame had circled the words "create a romantic atmosphere" twice in his notes, and Tegoshi figured it was best to stick to the script until after he'd actually managed his first orgasm in this body.
He'd tidied the room a little, as well. It didn't take much time, since he'd rescued it from the mess that Ryo had gotten accustomed to. He'd wavered over putting fresh sheets on the bed, but the lingering scent of Ryo's shampoo that clung to his pillowcase and the faint suggestion of sweat and sex on the sheets had decided him against it.
Finally, he lowered the blinds, dimming the late afternoon sun, stripped down to his underwear, and climbed into bed. He rubbed his right hand against the front of his underwear and felt approximately nothing. The familiar frustration welled up inside him a little--if he'd still been a boy, he'd have had his hand down his pants already, and maybe even been finished by now. According to Jin, though, this was totally normal, so Tegoshi just pulled his hand away and took a calming breath.
"Slowly," he reminded himself. Jin had devoted nearly two pages of Kameís tiny writing to explaining what "slowly" meant.
In the absence of an actual person to kiss, Tegoshi traced his forefinger along his lips, then parted them slightly to suck on his fingertip. He scraped his teeth against the soft pad of flesh, which felt nice enough, but nothing like it had when Ryo had done the same thing to him the night before last.
On the plus side, none of this would have done much for him as a boy, either. If his body still wasn't responding the way he wanted to, at least it was being consistent about it. And then Tegoshi trailed his fingers along the underside of his jaw and shivered in sudden and unexpected pleasure.
A little exploration led to further interesting reactions when he fingered the small hollow behind his earlobes, when he traced the soft underside of his arms, and when he circled his navel with his forefinger. He hadn't touched his breasts much the first few times he'd attempted masturbating as a girl, not really sure what to do with them, but now he palmed one and squeezed tentatively. When that didn't do anything, he tried pinching his nipple instead, and was rewarded with a sharp, almost painfully good feeling that tugged somewhere beneath his stomach.
Tegoshi fumbled with the clasp of his bra and pulled it off. It was a little chilly in the room with just his panties on, so he pulled the covers over himself and lay back against the pillows. And then he tugged the panties off, as well, in a flush of optimism.
The three bottles of lubricant were lined up on the bedside table, and Tegoshi selected the one that had smelled the least offensive in the store. Of course, that one would turn out to feel tacky and unpleasant when he tested a bit between his fingers. Tegoshi wiped his hand on the sheets, with a reminder to himself to wash them before Ryo got home.
The next brand poured out of the bottle slick and wet. Tegoshi spread it around his fingers a little and felt around between his legs. He wished that Jin could have provided Kame with a diagram to help Tegoshi find what he was looking for. And then his finger slipped across a little nub of flesh that he knew he'd already touched before, but something about the angle or the speed or the pressure or something made it different this time.
Tegoshi sucked in a sharp breath, hardly daring to move, and rubbed the same spot. He shuddered slightly, his toes curling. A few more touches, and his body began to flush with warmth. It didn't feel quite like getting off as a boy had, but it was good, and he closed his eyes to concentrate on the feeling as he slid his fingers over his clitoris again and again and again.
"Jesus, I don't know whether I should be turned on or pissed off," Ryo said from the doorway to the bedroom, and Tegoshi turned his head to blink hazily at him.
"What?" It was a little embarrassing being caught like this, but he had the blanket pulled up to his waist, so it wasn't as though Ryo could see much. Somehow, this fact justified Tegoshi's continuing, even as he blushed a little under Ryo's dark, heavy gaze.
"I mean, on the one hand, you're totally hot like this. On the other hand, what, I'm not good enough for you? You need sex more than twice a day?"
The wet rub of his fingers over his clitoris intensified somehow when Ryo mentioned them fucking so casually, and Tegoshi moaned softly. Ryo scowled at him. "The sex is great. Honestly," Tegoshi said. He blushed harder. "But, you know, it's not like I'm getting off any of those times, so..."
"You should have said something."
"About what? That I might want an orgasm once in a while?"
Ryo rolled his eyes. "No, stupid. That you weren't having any."
"I thought you knew!"
"How would I know something like that?! You make sexy noises; you move the right way; you're happy and relaxed afterwards. What do you expect me to think is going on?"
"Oh." For the first time, Tegoshi considered the possibility that Ryo's sexual experience, while wider than his, might not be quite as extensive as he'd imagined. Or maybe girls really were that hard to figure out--though Jin seemed to have done okay in that respect, so maybe not. "Sorry."
Ryo huffed a sigh at him. "Just...shove over, okay?"
His voice was as brash as ever, but there was a hint of uncertainty lurking in his eyes, and Tegoshi felt suddenly very tender towards him as he shifted over on Ryo's bed.
"And stop doing that," Ryo said, poking at Tegoshi's hand, which was still busy under the sheet. Tegoshi smiled and pulled his hand away.
Ryo stripped off his shirt and slacks with quick, economical movements while Tegoshi watched appreciatively, and then he slid into bed beside him in just his boxers. He traced the lower curve of Tegoshi's breast. Then he thumbed his nipple, making Tegoshi gasp, and Tegoshi fumbled under the covers for the waistband of Ryo's boxers so that he could reciprocate a little.
Ryo grabbed his wrist before Tegoshi's hand could reach its target. "I thought you wanted something different, this time," he said.
"Iíve got it, okay?" Ryo said, and Tegoshi barely had time to agree before Ryo leaned forward to suck on his right nipple, and his words cut out in a soft moan. Ryo liked his breasts--that much had been obvious since day one--and Tegoshi was always happy to indulge him when it meant that Ryo would make him feel like this.
"So, just fucking doesn't get you off, right?" Ryo asked after a while, the words muffled against Tegoshi's skin.
"Right. I mean, don't get the wrong idea, I love it. But...yeah."
"Okay." Ryo's hand slipped under the covers and felt between Tegoshi's thighs. Tegoshi sighed contentedly; Ryo had touched him there before, too. This time, though, he didn't just test how wet Tegoshi was before reaching for a condom. Instead, he ran his fingers along his labia, lifting his head to stare intently at Tegoshi's face.
His fingers brushed against his clitoris, and Tegoshi arched into the touch with a breathless cry. "That's the spot?" Ryo asked, voice quiet, and slid his hand upwards again.
Tegoshi reached down to guide him. "Almost. Just...there."
"Okay," Ryo said again, his fingers moving in tight, careful circles, as though he were afraid of losing his place.
"Closer," Tegoshi gasped.
Ryo frowned up at him. "Closer to what?"
"To me." Tegoshi tugged at his shoulder, and Ryo followed his urging and crawled up the bed until they were sharing the pillow. Tegoshi wiggled over so that Ryo was pressed along the length of his right side. Catching on, Ryo hooked his leg over Tegoshi's. Then he slid his hand down his stomach, letting Tegoshi guide him to the right spot once again.
Tegoshi squirmed pleasurably when Ryo resumed his careful, circling touches, unable to move too far with the weight of Ryo's leg pinning him down. That was pretty hot, and Tegoshi let himself move a bit more just for the pleasure of feeling Ryo holding him still and close.
Apparently, Ryo felt the same way. His breath came a little more quickly, and Tegoshi could feel his cock pressed hot and hard against his hip.
"Do you want me to...uh..." Ryo said after a bit, while Tegoshi stared at him uncomprehendingly, and then he said, "Oh, fuck it," and slid down the bed.
Tegoshi watched in amazement as Ryo dipped his head between Tegoshi's thighs, and then there was a hot, wet tongue tracing over his hot, wet pussy, and Tegoshi let his head fall back with a breathless moan.
"Mmm?" Ryo asked.
"Oh, god," Tegoshi breathed as Ryo licked over his clitoris, and Ryo laughed a little and did it again.
After a while--Tegoshi couldnít begin to guess how long--he felt the bed begin to shake slightly, and he knew that Ryo was jacking himself even as he continued licking and sucking and driving Tegoshi out of his mind.
Ryo came first. His breathing got heavy all of a sudden, and Tegoshi could feel him jerking slightly with the force of his orgasm. Tegoshi made an incoherent noise in response to the mental images that that prompted, helped by the fact that Ryo didn't even pause to catch his breath.
It was a little embarrassing how long it was taking Tegoshi to come; he'd gotten at least fifteen minutes' head start on Ryo, and he still wasn't finished yet, even as each swipe of Ryo's tongue made him feel as though he were coming undone. Ryo didn't seem to mind, though, so Tegoshi set aside worrying about it in favor of concentrating on the tight pleasure that coiled in his belly.
Ryo wrapped his arms around Tegoshi's thighs, holding him in a way that felt both secure and exposed, and Tegoshi's breath caught in his throat. He arched his back, and Ryo murmured approvingly.
And then, almost out of nowhere, it felt as though the pleasure humming through his body had been ratcheted to a higher level. Tegoshi gasped, fumbling for Ryo's hand, and Ryo held on tightly while Tegoshi shook with cascading waves of sensation that left him weak and trembling in their wake.
"So, I gotta ask," Ryo said after Tegoshi had caught his breath and they were curled comfortably around each other on the cleaner side of the bed. "Whatís with the tea candles?"
"Jinís idea," Tegoshi said a little sleepily. Maybe there was time for a nap before dinner.
"You asked Jin for advice about...something like this?" Ryo asked, sounding torn between incredulity and amusement.
Tegoshi shook his head. "No, Kame did." And then he had to lift his head from Ryoís shoulder to keep from getting jostled when Ryo suddenly convulsed with laughter.